4 Thinking Teens

Should Young People Dress Any Kind Of Way?

2011-11-29T14:16:00.018-05:00

Should anything go when it comes to the way our youth dress? Some youths think so. If we as adults try to assist them with their choice of fashion, they tend to call us, "Old fashioned!" They say, "No one wears that!" It's not that we want them to dress frumpy or unattractive. We simply want our preteens and teens to give off the right message. After all, clothes do send out messages about us.

Clothing Sends Out Messages

Some people have said that clothes show who you really are and how you feel about yourself. They can whisper conscientiousness, stability, high morals, or even rebellion and discontent. Some youths like to identify themselves through clothing. We've all seen ripped clothing, punked styles, or the very expensive designer clothes on our youth. Then we have those that try to attract the opposite sex or appear older than what they are.

So we can see that the way young people dress, will have a great impact on the people they meet and how they will be treated. I can say as a parent, "I'm definitely concerned with how my preteen Daughter dresses or wants to dress". She is only 11 years old. I don't want her sending the wrong message to others.

In my next article we will discuss how the friends of our preteens and teens can influence their dress.

Thanks for reading!

Resource
Questions Young People Ask - Answers That Work
Published by: Watch Tower Bible And Tract Society Of Pennsylvania
For more information on how to receive a copy, please click here.

What's Been Happening With You?

2011-11-26T21:25:00.002-05:00

Hi everyone! So much has been going on in my little old life. While still raising one teen and a preteen, I've managed to find time to hold down a part time job and start back my sewing. It's been a a bumpy ride I must say. How come it seems that even when both husband and wife work, it's never enough? Do you find that the ends never meet up? Something is always coming up.

Let's see, my husband had a tooth brake off. I need new tires. My kids are growing out of their clothes by the minute it seems. Oh, and my husband just reached his slow period on his job. Need I say more? Thankfully, we can laugh at some of this stuff. It certainly does the soul good!

Anyway, enough of my blabbing. What's been going on with you all? So many people are starting new businesses these days. How many of you are thinking about starting your own business? If so, introduce us to it. I'd love to check it out. Please leave me a link to your website if you have one! We can share ideas and learn from each other.

Let me tell you about my new online store. I'm going to launch my new online store on January 2, 2012. I'm concentrating on selling modest skirts for preteens and teens. I'm excited about it. Even if I don't get my first sale until 6 months later. I've set goals and the key is not to give up. My Brother has been running his own painting business for over 6 years now. He never gave up. He said that is what most people tend to do. They give up too soon. I've been there and done that. This time, I will not give up! I'll keep you posted.

Well, that's my update. Thanks for reading. I look forward to hearing from you all. That is, if you'd like to share. If not that's okay too. Enjoy the rest of your day!

4 THINKING TEENS: Better Communication With Your Teen - 4 Strategies...

2011-11-26T20:29:00.000-05:00

4 THINKING TEENS: Better Communication With Your Teen - 4 Strategies...: Show Empathy Just the other day, I made the mistake of saying something to my teen that hurt his feelings very much. The reason I said it...

4 THINKING TEENS: Keep Your Morals And Your Respect

2011-11-26T20:28:00.000-05:00

4 THINKING TEENS: Keep Your Morals And Your Respect: He Broke My Heart In Two Is keeping your morals and your virginity important to you? If so, what can you do to keep your respect when it co...

4 THINKING TEENS: Who Is Teaching Your Kids Morals?

2011-11-26T20:27:00.000-05:00

4 THINKING TEENS: Who Is Teaching Your Kids Morals?: When children reach the age of two, most parents start potty training them. They also teach them how to work, how to eat with a spoon, how ...

4 THINKING TEENS: I Can't Stop Thinking About The Opposite Sex

2011-11-26T20:24:00.000-05:00

4 THINKING TEENS: I Can't Stop Thinking About The Opposite Sex: Everywhere you look in the entertainment world, it glorifies premarital sex. It makes it seem as though there's nothing wrong with it. ...

Are Parents Hindering Their Teen's Progress?

2011-07-02T16:43:00.008-04:00

When our children were younger, we helped them to learn from their mistakes. Perhaps they spilled milk on the table. We would have them clean it up. If they hit someone, we would make them apologize. Does this guidance stop when they become teenagers? No! We should continue helping them in this way even into young adulthood.

So many parents try to fix everything for their kids. Instead of helping them, it hinders them.

We Don't Have To Bail Our Kids Out

As hard as it may be, we as parents must allow our teens to work out their own problems. For instance, if your teen gets a ticket for speeding, make him pay for the ticket. If you pay for the ticket, he will not take the consequences of his actions seriously. Therefore, he would only repeat the act. After paying enough money for speeding tickets, he'll slow down!

If your teen is making money, it’s important to allow him to use that money for the things he wants (not needs). If we buy everything for them, they tend to think things should be given to them. They don’t work as hard, or value the money they make (they waste it).

If your teen decides to break his curfew, render some type of appropriate discipline. My Mom wouldn't allow me to go out on my next date if I broke my curfew. Of course some teens never get it. Don’t give up! You can also take the extended time from him, which means he’d have to come home earlier. If he chooses to keep breaking his curfew, you keep administering the discipline. You may have to get tougher with privileges (take a few away). Eventually, he’ll know that you mean business!

Parents Are Not Best Friends

The relationship parents have with their teens is not to be mistaken for best friends. We’re to guide and assist our children to become mature, responsible, decent, loving, and civil adults in our society. They may not appreciate it now, but they will later. We’ve all been through it with our parents. I know I appreciate my parents more so now than I ever did.

Basically, we must allow our teens to learn from their behavior and the decisions they make. It is not necessary to come to their rescue all the time.This prevents parents from hindering their teen's progress. My parents sure didn't come to my rescue all the time (if at all). I'm proud to say, "I'm now a responsible adult."

Thanks for reading! Have a wonderful day!

For Further Reading

Who Is Teaching Your Kids Morals?

2011-03-29T19:05:00.017-04:00

When children reach the age of two, most parents start potty training them. They also teach them how to work, how to eat with a spoon, how to ride a bike, how to study, and how to solve problems. When it comes to teaching kids about sex many parents shy away. Whose responsibility is it to teach kids about sex and morals?

Do Not Rely On the Schools and Magazines

We all know that there is right conduct and there is wrong conduct (morals). Many people find these morals in the bible. That's the number one place to find them. Teaching kids morals helps them to avoid making lots of mistakes in life. They'll make better choices.

Sure the schools try to teach kids about sex. Yet they do not teach them right from wrong. They pass out condoms (this encourages safe sex). The media teaches it (anything goes). Many teen magazines and books encourage safe sex as well. Most times when I see a teen magazine, I see some type of sexy picture on the front of the cover, and some of the topics encourage dating and flirting.

Find Reliable Resources

Just as parents are responsible for teaching their kids how to walk, use the potty and eat with a spoon, they're also responsible for teaching them about morals (sex). Even if the parents were not raised with morals, they can still try their best to instill morals in their children. The key here is to find reliable resources that you agree with. Not all resources are reliable and agreeable. You can never go wrong with the Bible.

Don't Wait Until They're Teenagers
It's best to instill morals in our children at an early age. It can be hard if we wait until they're teenagers. Another thing we want to keep in mind is, we teach by example. It can be rather hard if we're telling our kids one thing yet we're doing another. They'll look at us as being hypocritical. I always ask my kids, "Do you see me doing that?" My family relies on the Bible. When my kids were younger, I'd purchase fun books for them to read. These books also taught them good behavior. We found a lot of the stories to be funny!

So parents start now teaching your kids morals. Those morals will stay with them for the rest of their lives. Even if they don't apply them, they'll remember them. They just may pass them on to their kids. The worst we can do is leave it up to others to teach them.

Thanks for reading!

Is Your Daughter Singing I Do?

2011-03-28T14:59:00.018-04:00

"I do I do I do do do do do do do dooo!"

Here's a song that my Daughter likes by Colbie Marie Caillat. It's called "I Do." I thought I'd check out the video. I've heard the song over and over. My Daughter walks around singing, "I do, I do, I do, do, do, do, do!" I can't help but hear it. I told her, "If I hear "I do" one more time, I'm going to go crazy." I don't think she heard me.

We watched the video together. Over all, I was pleased with it. It doesn't have any graphic scenes in it or anything. Of course being old school, I felt Colbie could have been more covered at the beginning. I would've still liked the video (more so), if she would have had her bottom covered with her sheets.

Showing Lots of Skin Is Not Necessary
Why do women think they have to show lots of skin to make a point? I think if they try to be a bit classier, they may be surprised at the results. Some things should be shown in the privacy of our homes only.

A lot of people consider this to be a good wedding song. I personally think it's a bit too fast. It didn't grab me that way. I like slower beats for weddings and songs that are a bit more touching and emotional. For example, "Here And Now" by Luther Vandross.

The song is still a pretty decent song for teens to listen to. I had no major problems with it.

Thanks for reading!

Get Your Teen Thinking You're The Best - 10 Strategies

2011-03-28T12:52:00.006-04:00

Do you want your Son or Daughter to give you a hug next time they come to you with a problem? How about expressing to you that you're the best Mom or Dad? Well, listen up. I had this exact situation happen to me. My Son gave me a big hug (several of them) and told me he didn't know what he'd do without me.

Now I'm not no super Mom or anything. Sometimes I don't even know how it happens. I come from an average family. We have faith in our God. We also try to live by bible standards each and every day. This helps tremendously. I'm not doing anything particularly special. However, I will tell what I'm doing that's causing such reactions from both my Son and my Daughter.

How to Get Your Teen to Think You're the Best - 10 Strategies

I make myself available. If I'm busy with something, I stop doing it immediately. I don't care what it is. This is very important, because teens/kids will come to you and start talking to you from out of no where. If it's important to them, you don't want to miss it or push them away. Do not tell your teen you're busy. Unless your life is on the line, you're not busy. You can always get back to what you were doing. But you may not be able to get your teen to talk to you again (openly).
Show empathy. Feel what they're feeling. Agree with them on some points. This shows that you're listening and understand. Act like what they're saying is the most important thing at that time. Even if it's something minor (to you). If they hurt, you hurt too!
Please don't interrupt them.
Do not tell them that they're wrong for having the feelings they have.
Even if some of their views are a little over the top, this is no time to correct them. Just listen. You can help them to have the proper views later (after they've poured out their feelings to you).
Ask them questions on how they would like the problem solved. Try to get them to think of the solution. Try hard to let the solution to the problem remain with them.
Offer suggestions. This gives them proper guidance. They may not know the proper way to go about solving the problem.
Your child will be hurting. This is the time to build him/her back up. If they handled the situation in a mature way, commend him/her. Remind them of their good qualities.
Another very important suggestion is to thank them for sharing this with you. After all, they didn't have to. They'll remember how you responded and they'll want to share more with you.
Continually remind them that they can come to you at any time and any day. Again make sure when they do, you make yourself available.

When all is said and done, your teen may give you a big hug and tell you that you're the best. If doesn't happen the first time, don't give up. Change how you listen and follow these suggestions closely. In time your teen will give you a hug.

Thanks for reading!

Teens Hurt By Friends - Coping Strategies

2011-03-27T07:14:00.009-04:00

True Friends Are Color Blind

Why does it hurt so much when my friend makes fun of me? What should I do?

It's never fun when someone makes fun of you. Especially when that someone is a friend. It can hurt deep down. I can remember some of my friends making fun of me when I was in school. I didn't know why they made fun of me. I didn't care, I just wanted friends. I still wanted to be their friend, even after the mistreatment.

Jealousy Stops Friendships from Forming
Now that I'm older, I realize that they were jealous. When they made fun of me, I felt weird, unattractive, and not likable. When in all actuality I was the opposite. I wasn't weird (I was normal), I was somewhat attractive (probably a great deal to those that made fun of me), and I was likable.

I was the skinny girl with the long pretty hair. I've always had long hair (I got it from my Mom). The boys liked teasing me and being my friends. The girls got in groups and talked about me. I had no problem befriending the guys. I just had problems befriending some of the girls. I really didn't want to be friends with the guys. I wanted to be friends with the girls. Since most girls didn't want my friendship, I had more guy friends than girl friends.

Work On the Person Inside
I thought I was an average looking girl. I guess to some I was nice looking. I think they were jealous. Plus, I never wore trendy clothes. My parents couldn't afford them. That may be another reason as to why they made fun of me. I always tell my kids not to worry so much about what they're wearing on the outside, worry about what's on the inside.

Seek Friends That Are Going To Help You
If your friend makes fun of you, is he a true friend? Maybe he just likes joking around. Okay, that may be so. But if he continues to hurt you, do you need him as a friend? What can you do to improve the situation? Perhaps you need to talk to him. If he continues to make fun of you, it may be time to find another friend. A friend that is always hurting you is not worth having as a Friend. You deserve a much better friend.

No doubt it'll be hard to just cut your friend out of your life. That may not be necessary. It can be as simple as cutting back on the time you spend with that person. Seek out true friends that do not make fun of you, accept you for who you are, and want the best for you. Maybe when he sees you limiting your time with him he'll get the point, and change his behavior.

Share Your Feelings with Your Parents
When I hear of someone making fun of someone else, it bothers me. Especially if they're talking about the person's clothes; or making jokes in reference to the color of the person's skin. Young and immature kids/teens have a tendency to do this. Most people do not like it when someone makes fun of what they have on or makes jokes about the color of their skin. If you don't like it, you're normal. I always say, "The very person that you're making fun of, could be the very person that saves your life some day."

It burns me when my Son tells me this has happened to him. I want to step in and talk to the person myself. But I don't. I think it's important for him to work out his own problems. I'll give him my view along with suggestions. I leave it up to him to decide how he wants to handle the situation. If I keep fixing his problems, he will not learn how to fix them on his own?

I'm just glad that I'm able to be home with my kids. Even If I have to pinch pennies, they're worth each and every penny. If I wasn't home, they wouldn't be able to share their troubles with me (when they really want and need to). Sometimes I (we) have to stop and count the blessings that we do have.

Should I Kick My Troubled Teen Out?

2011-03-24T08:19:00.008-04:00

Sometimes Parents Give Up Too Soon

As a Mom, I don't think it's wise to kick a teen out of the house. I think it's wiser to work through any problems you may have. Kicking a teen out too soon can cause hardship for him. Before you kick your teen out, ask yourself some questions. How will he take care of himself? Where will he live? Does he have any money saved?

Prepare Your Teen

I was put out at an early age. I wasn't prepared for taking care of myself financially. Because of this, I had many financial problems. I also found it hard to deal with a lot of problems that came my way. Basically, I was too young. I got put out at around 18 years of age. I was fresh out of school.

I think if I would have stayed home longer, I would not have had too many financial woes. I would have learned how to be more responsible (if given the opportunity). Sometimes parents want to throw in the towel as soon as they have a run in with their teens. They feel like they're not getting anywhere. They may even believe that kicking them out is the best answer. I strongly disagree with this thought.

Being kicked out myself, I can say that kicking a teen out is not the best solution. They're being kicked out at a very vulnerable time. This is when they need their parents the most. Kicking them out will only make them feel abandoned. It will force them to fend for themselves (job or no job).

When I got kicked out, I had a Part time job, no car, no money saved, and no apartment. This was the wrong way to start on my own. While I do not agree with kicking a teen out, I must say that I played a part in my Mom's decision. Maybe if I would have listened to my Mom, I would not be telling you about this experience.

Work through Your Problems
While home, teens learn how to build relationships and get along with others. If they're always running from their problems (running away from home) or we put them out, we're not teaching them how to deal with their problems. It's important to let our teens know come what may, we're going to stick by them. This is what I needed most when I was a teen. So parents stick it out through good and bad. Teens cooperate with your parents and think about the benefits that come from staying home longer. As I always say, "Learn from the mistakes of others."

This is not to say that if a teen is causing danger to a family, he/she should not be put out (if the behavior continues). Sometimes, parents are left with no choice but to put a teen out.

What are your thoughts?

Kim Harris

Does Your Teen Have A Problem Listening To You?

2011-03-19T07:49:00.048-04:00

When Parents Holler Teens Shut Down

Why do some teens have a problem listening to parents? Why do they shut their parents out?
(For simplicity I'll be referring to young men. This article applies to young ladies just the same).

Let Your Teen Express Himself
If you're always hollering and making demands, he has already closed his ears to anything you have to say. Think about it. What if you're at work and one of your coworkers come up to you and start going off on you. How would you feel? Wouldn't you feel like defending yourself right off? What if you tried to speak, but she kept cutting you off? Would you hear anything she had to say after that?

You have feelings and views that aren't being heard. You want to understand the problem, but she's not hearing your side. The conversation gets no where. The more she doesn't listen to you, the more you get upset. All you want is to be heard. You want the opportunity to express your feelings and your viewpoints. You want her to understand your side of the story.

Try To Understand

The conversation ends without ever being resolved. She walks away feeling relieved. You walk away feeling misunderstood. You still have feelings and views pent up inside of you. If only she had taken the time to listen to you, then she would have understood you better. Even if she didn't understand you, just the fact that she listened to you would have showed that she cared enough, to hear what you had to say.

Now put your teenager in your shoes. Are you like the coworker? Do you let him express his feelings to you freely? Are you so upset at times that you cause him to shut down? You won't get much conversation from him at that level. Sure he'll listen. Maybe you're frightening him into listening. But what part is he really hearing? Probably none of it.

Pay Attention To How You Speak

When we talk to our teens, we want them to listen. We're defeating the purpose if all we do is holler, demand, and give orders. If your boss was like that, how long would you stick around? Our kids are no different. They have feelings too. We need to acknowledge their feelings and let them speak. When they do, we need to really listen to them. We should try to put ourselves in their shoes. We must try to understand the reasons behind their actions.

Most times we as parents only see the outcome. When we draw our kids out, we find out they have deeper problems. We can draw them out by asking the right questions and watching their behavior.

7 Remedies

Calm down
Count to 20
Listen
Let him speak
Be apologetic
Have empathy
Let him know you still love him after wards

Do Not Interfere
One final thought to teens. You're showing yourselves mature when you listen to your parents, even if they're upset and saying all the wrong things. Try to listen and speak when they're done. Getting upset and interfering will only make the problem worse.

Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed my article, please say so. If you have a comment you'd like to share, please do so.

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I think this is a must have for all parents, even if it's just to educate yourselves. Sometimes it's how we say things to our kids/teens that causes them to act the way they do. We have to learn how to communicate better with them. This book will help you! You'll see results within 30 days! This book comes as an e-book you can get it right now, no waiting! Follow the link below for you own personal copy!

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Keeping Kids Safe On Facebook

2011-03-16T08:28:00.021-04:00

Social Networks Cover A Great Distance

Everyone has a different view on this one. Even those that do not have kids, have strong views as to whether or not to allow a kids to have a fb (face book) page. If we do allow it, how do we keep our kids safe on the Internet/Face book?

I pondered over this one for a very long time. I do not like spreading my business around. Therefore, fb wasn't something I was interested in personally. Sure, I liked getting on fb to check on the status of my friends and to view their pictures! I just love looking at pictures! But I didn't see no real value in having my own fb page. I avoided it for a long time. I was concerned about Internet safety for myself and my kids.

Finally, I created a page for keeps. Although I love the social aspects of my page, I mainly have it for networking purposes. It allows me to keep my friends up to date with what I'm doing in my business, and I'm able to connect with other entrepreneurs for the much needed support.

It's fun and interesting to see what everyone is up to! I'm learning so much about friends that I didn't know before. As people, we're always interested in what other people (especially friends) are doing. We all want to feel connected to someone or something (that we have something in common with). Our kids feel the same.

When Is It Okay!
Each parent must decide on his or her own whether or not they'll let their kids have a fb page. I never wanted my kids to have one. But they kept seeing me get on it. They thought it was so much fun to see their friends and look at their pictures! I guess it's a way for them to have a small circle of friends, and a little bit of privacy at the same time. Which is all a part of growing up.

So, after giving it some thought, I decided to allow the two of them to have their very own fb pages. They love it! (My husband didn't object. He's not into computers at all)! We created the pages together. I set their privacy settings. I laid down the rules. I told them just like I allowed the pages, I can also take them away (if they abuse the privilege). Here are some suggestions that I've found to work for us:

I set the privacy settings. I check them periodically.
They can only friend request people that we know. If another trustworthy friend knows them, that's fine. Just as long as I can verify it. No exceptions in this area! I have it set to friends only. Some settings are not even set to friends.
I'm allowed to monitor their pages and delete friends that I find offensive in some way. Of course I give the two of them time to do it themselves. If they don't take care of the matter, I do it.
Personal information is not allowed (addresses, phone numbers).
I tell them to be very careful with the chat box. I don't like them using it very much. Unless it's someone that we all know. I limit my use of it too. Because I use my fb page mainly for business purposes, I don't personally know everyone on my friend's list. Therefore, I keep my chat box off most times.
If they put something up on their pages that may be offensive. Perhaps it's a video that they didn't really pay attention to and something in it slipped by them. I'll tell them to take it down. Sometimes I even take it down for them. We all make mistakes.
I lead by example. They see what I do on fb. They tend to copy me. They know that I'm not on there to abuse it. I mainly use it to catch up with friends and keep them posted with what I'm doing. Which as I mentioned before, is mainly network marketing. I know I love seeing what my friends do for a living! If I need something, I know who to ask.
They are not allowed to friend request someone with questionable behaviour or indecent pictures. Yes, I look at their friend's pictures from time to time. I make allowances for family only. You got to friend request family. At least I think so.
It also helps to have a good anti-virus program installed on your computer.

http://free.avg.com/us-en/homepage

Know Your Kids
The main idea here is for you to be involved with what your kids are doing. Allow them to develop their own personalities. Some kids don't like fb. Mine just happen to like it! I can't hold them too tight. I have to be reasonable. If I have friends on fb, why can't they?

I didn't just allow them a page. I did take into account their ages and maturity level. (Face book recommends no child under the age of 13). I wasn't aware of this until after I allowed my 11 year old a page. I assumed it was okay since I saw lots of other kids on fb. Instead of just taking the page away from her, I decided to let her keep it. I monitor her very closely. She's only allowed to friend people I know and trust. I must admit, I have been guilty of signing up for some networks without reading the terms (now I read the terms first).

Before I allowed my kids a page, I wanted to be sure that they understood the seriousness of privacy (their privacy) and the dangers if not treated properly. I made sure that they understood what it meant not to disclose personal information. It's very important to know your kids. Will he/she be responsible and abide by your fb rules? I didn't allow them a page until I felt they could abide by the rules.

Be Involved
I don't act like a Sargent or anything. I just monitor them and their pages closely. I keep my ears and eyes open. That's why it's important to keep the computer in an open area (family room). This way you can monitor them. What works for one family may not work for another. The key here is to do what's best for your family. You know your family better than anyone else. If you do allow your kids a page, be involved.

Thanks for reading! If you liked my article, please say so. If you'd like to share your 2 cents, please do so!

Keep Your Morals And Your Respect

2011-03-15T01:31:00.009-04:00

He Broke My Heart In Two

Is keeping your morals and your virginity important to you? If so, what can you do to keep your respect when it comes to premarital sex?

My first love was with a very handsome young man! I fell head over heels for him! I was attracted to him the moment I laid eyes on him. We'd go to lunch together (he paid). In between classes, he'd come talk to me and he'd let me wear his jacket!

I Found Out the Hard Way
I looked forward to seeing him each and every day! I even wrote a letter to him. In the letter I told him that someday we'd get married and have two kids. I don't think we were on the same page. Within a matter of weeks, he started getting out of control with his thoughts. I was thinking friend and companion (someone to talk to). He was thinking more along the lines of getting into my pants. Little did I know. I found that out the hard way.

A Broken Heart
He took me over a friend's house (small get together). While in a room alone, he expressed a desire to go all the way, and I kept refusing. Finally he accepted my refusal. Well, guess what ladies. The next day in school, he barely talked to me. From that day forward we were no longer boy friend and girl friend. I was devastated, and my heart was broken in two! I really liked him. I tried as hard as I could to get him back. Nothing worked. Eventually he started hanging around other girls and got another girlfriend.

On to the Next Girl
After some time, I got over him. What he did was unloving and very disrespectful. He caused me to have a lot of hurt feelings. I'm glad I didn't give in to his sexual urges. Because it wasn't long before he had another girl friend. When he couldn't get what he wanted from me, he moved on to the next girl. This happened when I was a teenager in love in high school. It still happens to other girls down to this day.

Save Your Dignity
My sex advice for teenagers (especially girls) is this, "Listen to your parents." If they disapprove of you having a boyfriend, don't get one. You'll save yourself a lot of head aches. It's true that most guys only want sex. If you don't give it to them, they'll find someone who will. Let them gone about their business. You'll save your dignity.

Should I Give In?
No! If you do give in to their urges, they'll lose all respect for you. Once you cross the line of having sex with a guy, he'll start treating you different. He will not view you the same. That's why it's so easy for most young men to make babies and walk away. They have no attachment or commitment to the young ladies. How many teenage Moms do you know? Where are the fathers?

While you may think that you love the guy and want to give yourself to him (sexually), give it some time. You may find out that sex is the only thing he wants from you. Think things through before you act them out. Think about your future. Keep refusing and see how long he hangs around. Then you'll know what he really wants from you. If he leaves, you're better off without him. Remember, all guys are not like this. Just some. There are some guys that have morals. It's like finding a needle in a haystack, but they do exist.

Thanks for reading!

Overcome Your Loneliness - 7 Tips

2011-03-09T00:03:00.038-05:00

Teens Need Nurturing Just Like Flowers

I think it’s safe to say that most teens have felt lonely at one time or another. I can remember when I started a new job working in a hospital. It seemed that I just didn’t fit in. I tried really hard to make friends. To me, I just was not getting anywhere. I wasn’t looking for personal or very close friendships. I just wanted a couple of good work related friendships. Well, I stayed at this job for close to two years. I’m glad that I didn’t give up.

Over time, people started finding me likable. I think they just needed that time to get to know me. I was able to develop a few good friendships at work. We worked hard together, we laughed together, we complained together, and we walked to our cars together! I really appreciated those few friendships I had while working there. Although I ended up making a few friends, as I mentioned before, I was very lonely at the start of that job.

There are so many things in life that can cause teens to feel lonely. Here are a few:

Parents that don't listen
Moving to a new location
Going to a new school
Unstable family
Lack of friends
Depression/chronic depression
No family
The start of a new job

This is a short list. I’m sure there are plenty more reasons that can be added to this list. Loneliness is a worldwide concern. There are even songs written about it.

How can teens deal with loneliness?

Try to think more positively about loneliness. After all, loneliness can be good at times.
Don’t isolate yourself. Seek the friendship of others. Perhaps you can join someone for a meal.
Be a friend first. Listen to others. Be yourself. People will like you just because you’re, “You”.
Help others. When we help others, we tend to forget about our own problems.
Get out and do something physical (walking, bike riding, skating, or running). Do whatever physical exercise you enjoy doing.
Try not to feel sorry for yourself. It’ll only make you feel worse. Turn your loneliness into something positive. This may be a good time to learn a new skill.
Connect with your friends on line. If you don’t have any friends on line. Reach out and connect with new on line friends (just be very careful). I keep my on line friends on line (I treat my on line friends the same as work associates). That is unless I know them personally. Not close and not personal. We support one another on line. I could not do what I do if I didn't have support from many of them.

Sometimes when I’m going through a lonely period in my life, I just need someone to talk to. It’s usually my Mom. She raised five teenagers. When she’s not available, I do something else I like to do. Such as: read, sleep, eat, shop, go skating, ministry work, call someone, play with my kids, get on face book , watch a movie, pray, or even have a good cry.

The point is not to let loneliness overtake us. It can cause us to become very depressed; to the point of feeling helpless. So next time you start feeling lonely, remember you’re not alone.

What Do You Know About Gangs?

2011-03-08T23:36:00.020-05:00

Gangs

Ask any gang member why they joined a gang, and you’ll get various answers. Some of them are: "For love, money, drugs, power, sex, loneliness, out of anger, for recognition, and a glamorous life style." In simple terms, they join gangs because they feel like they’re not getting their needs met at home.

As we are raising our teenagers, we should keep these things in mind. None of us want to see our teens joining any type of gang. We try to protect them from gangs. Not guide them to the gangs. In order to do this, we must educate our children; and warn them of the dangers involved with gangs. It is very important that we keep talking to our children. Show them that we love them and care for them. This means giving more hugs and kisses. We need to be involved with what our children are involved in. Visit their school regularly, help them with homework, make time for family activities, and be available when they need to talk. We must do this in order to keep them from seeking this love and concern elsewhere.

Gang Initiation

I have to admit, I didn’t know very much about gangs before putting this article together. I had to do some research. I was in tears after viewing some of this information. It is a must see for all concerned individuals. When I learned how some gang members initiate a person into the gang, I couldn’t believe it. Some are beaten in (by 4 or more members). Some are sexed in, by 4 or more members (along with violence). Finally, some have to go out and randomly kill someone; that they don’t even know. Now, we can’t go hiding from gangs or anything. However, we can be alert and know how they operate. This will put us in a better position to protect our children.

Did you know that new members and young members are the ones that do most of the crimes? Yes, they have to earn their stay. The older ones have done the work. They’ve proved themselves so to speak. These young ones don’t think about the consequences (going to prison or getting killed). They fail to realize that Mom and Dad are not the only ones with rules. Gangs have rules too (even a chain of command). If these rules aren’t followed, one could be beaten or killed. Prison has rules too. If one doesn’t follow the rules in prison, the same thing can happen. The criminals are the ones that make the rules. A question to ask our kids is, “Whose rules do you want to follow?”

Getting Out Of A Gang

Even if you belong to a gang, you can still get out. You may have to move away and stay with relatives in another area. You can't tell anyone about this move. Perhaps if you fill your time with better activities, you’ll find yourself drifting away from that bad environment. If all else fails, you may have to approach the gang leader and explain to him your views.

Let him know why you want out (to change your life style). Let him know that you’d like to depart on good terms. Let him know that you’ll not be disclosing any information to anyone. Tell him that you don’t want any harm to come to him or you. Let him know that you hope all goes well with him. Hopefully, you’ll be able to walk away and never look back! Don’t give up in seeking a way out. These are just suggestions. Each person will handle his or her situation differently.

Thumbs up to all those who leave gangs!

I really enjoyed writing this article! I hope I’ve helped someone in some sort of way. I’d like to hear what you have to say. Please leave a comment. If one of the links below don't work, please let me know.

For more information or help, please visit the following:

http://www.history.com/shows/gangland/videos/ganged-up#ganged-up

http://www.fox23.com/news/local/story/Former-Gang-Member-Mentors-Teens/kgXeV7ONHkGeL9elq4kQWQ.cspx

Have you ever been in a gang? Please share your story here.

Thanks for reading!

A Closer Look At Juvenile Prison

2011-03-08T23:29:00.015-05:00

If parents are going to bring guns into the home, then it should be a requirement to educate any children in that home on guns, crimes committed with guns, and the consequences of those crimes. Many times parents bring guns home to protect the family. Only to have them used on a family member. Many times by a child. Is it worth it? Kids aren't dumb. They know how to get into whatever it is that they want. I can't think of a safe place in a home to keep a gun (especially with kids). If we hid a gun in our home, I guarantee you that my kids would find it......

There are much safer ways to protect our families. Each day I worry about someone breaking into my home while I sleep. But I don't let this worry consume me. I go over what I call an escape plan with my kids. I leave lights on in certain rooms. This way it looks like my home is active; although we're all knocked out. I also do a window, door, and garage check before turning in for the night. Be sure to check yours before you turn in for the night. :)

Anyway, the story of this 10 year old is a sad one. No 10 year old should be put in Juvenile. I personally don't like those facilities. What are they teaching the kids? They lock them up like animals. Why not send them to school all day? Teach them how to control their anger. Help them to understand that violence is not the answer. Teach them a skill. Have communicating sessions with them (along with their parents). Putting them in a cell is not helping them to grow to maturity. I'd go crazy if I was locked up all day. That's why half of them get out only to return to a life of crime. Go figure.........

Personally, if my son committed a crime like this, I wouldn't want him locked up 24/7. I'd want to send him to some sort of school (safe) that would help him (away from others he could harm). One that would give him some freedom (monitored) to still enjoy life. We all make mistakes.

I'm fortunate to have my faith and belief in my God helping me with my kids. It makes a difference.

Read the story here:

http://www.cnn.com/2011/CRIME/01/03/ohio.boy.shooting/index.html

Thanks for reading!

Is Juvenile Prison The Answer?

2011-03-08T23:22:00.014-05:00

A ten year old boy shot and killed his own mother. I'm just now reading about this one. When I read this story, It really touched me. Why would a 10 year old kill his own Mother? Why do some parents keep guns easily accessible to children?

As some of you may know, I'm totally against guns. I'm so glad that we don't have guns in our home. You just never know. My kids sure aren't perfect. I hope that they would never use a gun on me. That's why I think it's so important to teach our kids about guns while they're young. Teach them the danger of guns. Let them know the consequences of harming someone with a gun. Television and XBOX games don't keep it real.

The Reality Of Guns
I'm always letting my kids know the reality of committing a crime. I let them know that they can go to Juvenile. I tell them that it's not a pretty life either. They were a bit surprised when they read this story. Seeing a 10 year old in hand cuffs and all, made my 12 year old son think. I don't think he's ever seen a 10 year old in hand cuffs in real life. When he was younger, he use to like the toy hand cuffs. He and his sister would always run around hand cuffing one another. They would act like little cops!

Although this boy committed this horrible crime, he's still a child. I don't think he was educated on guns and the seriousness of committing certain crimes. Nor was he trained on how to cope and deal with his anger. So many parents are leaving this education up to the Internet, television, games, friends, and the streets. When parents don't take the time to teach their kids/teenagers, the results can be deadly. We see it in the news all the time.

This article is followed by the article entitled: A Closer Look At Juvenile Prison

Four Tips For The Bullied

2011-03-08T23:13:00.014-05:00

Do you pick on those that are weak and vulnerable? Do you do it by being cruel and abusive? Do you threaten, intimidate or control? Do you insult, use sarcasm, ridicule, and call others names? If so, you are a bully.

What Causes One To Become A Bully?

Jealousy
Problems at home (aggression, violence)
A desire for attention
Influenced by television (criminals are made to look like the tough guy)

If you are a bully and you do not stop bullying others, it could cause problems for you later in life. If you decide to marry, you could become aggressive or violent towards your wife (and kids). This makes for a very unhappy home (marriage).

Working at any type of job requires team work and professionalism. You wouldn't be displaying team work or professionalism if you're always bullying others. Employers need workers that get along with others. They don't want workers that always end up in confrontations with others.

Older Ones Can Be Bullied Too

Bullying doesn't just happen to the young. It also happens to older ones. It's just done in more subtle ways. It has happened to me several times on a job. I had to speak up. I was polite and very firm. Most of the time I had no problems after speaking up. If I did, I thought it would be a waste of my time to make an issue of it. I would just let it roll off my shoulders. I had a job to do. If it bothered me to the point of interfering with my job, I spoke with my boss (along with the person).

Four Important Tips For The Bullied

Do not retaliate. This could lead to worse problems (you don't deserve).
Talk to your teacher (counselor) and parents. They may need to meet with the bully's parents.
Do not be a coward. Stand up for yourself (speak up).
You can arrange to speak one on one with your bully. This way he'll see that you're not afraid. Bullies like it when they can pick on someone that doesn't speak up. This will keep making you a target for them. They think they can get away with it, because you're not saying anything.

Six Tips For Parents And Teachers

Take any and all complaints of bullying very serious.
Arrange to meet with all parties involved.
Reassure the student/child that bullying will not be tolerated.
Parents teach your children (early in life) to treat others the way they'd like to be treated.
If the abuse doesn't stop, sterner measures may have to be taken.
Do not wait to take action (further harm could be done).

Due to bullying problems, some parents have decided at some point while raising their teenagers (smaller children), to take them out of a traditional school; in order to homeschool them.

Story Of A Teenager That Was Bullied

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/02/02/us/02bully.html

Other Resources:

http://www.antibullying.net/law.htm

Better Communication With Your Teen - 4 Strategies

2011-03-06T08:32:00.018-05:00

Show Empathy

Just the other day, I made the mistake of saying something to my teen that hurt his feelings very much. The reason I said it, was because he made me upset by his actions. I wanted him to stop. He kept irritating me. I made a statement to him, that hurt him deep down. He went into his room and closed his door. I told him to stay in there and think about what he had done.

Could You Be Wrong?
As he was sitting in his room pondering over his actions (I hope), I was sitting at my computer pondering over what I had said to him. After thinking about it, I came to realize that I was in the wrong for saying what I said. I was right about wanting him to stop. I was also right about him not displaying the proper attitude towards me at the time. "I was wrong for saying what I said."

Apologize
I got up and went into his room. The first thing I did was apologize. I then explained to him why I said what I said. I also let him know that his attitude was out of line. I invited him to come back and join the family. Afterwards, I left his room. He was behind me! :)

Reassure Your Teen Of Your Love
He felt much better after my apology. I think he even realized where he was wrong. The important thing is, I didn't just leave him on his own to deal with his hurt feelings. I remember what I needed most when I upset my Mother. I needed her reassurance. I wanted to know that she still loved me, even though I had made a mistake. I reassured my Son that I still loved him. I'm not the best at parenting or anything. I just try as best I can to apply all the suggestions and advice I receive from my religious publications (which I share with you). Alone with my own common sense, and lots of love! So far it's working!

Have Better Communication With Your Teenager - 4 Strategies

Ask questions. Find out what's really bothering him (or her).
Listen to him. He may be pouring his heart out to you. Even if you don't like what he's saying to you, try as best as you can not to interrupt or attack him.
Plan times together that allow for communication. Usually meal times are a good time for families to get together for some fun, talk, and good food! Communication will be stifled if you allow television, computer, or other activities (during the meal).
Apologize if you're in the wrong. Even if you don't think you're in the wrong, it helps to have an apologetic attitude. Find something that you could have done better.

If you need advice for a specific question, please email me privately. I'll send you information that touches on your specific question.

Thanks for reading!

All comments are welcomed here.

Laws Parents And Teens Should Know

2011-03-05T02:11:00.021-05:00

Parents Have Rights

When we have kids, the hospital doesn't give us a law book on kids. We don't even worry about any child laws while they're babies. We know that we're going to give them the best care.

When they reach the ages of ten to twelve, we wonder about the law on leaving them home alone. I know that this was a major concern for me. I really didn't know what the law said. Is there such a law? I learned that it varies from state to state.

Do Parents Have Rights?
Sure. We have rights. As long as the child is under the age of eighteen, we're responsible for him/her. Some laws surprised me. I was not aware of them. I think we as parents need to make ourselves fully aware of the laws regarding children.

Rights Terminated
Can parent's rights be terminated? Yes. If we prove to be unfit as parents, the court system can terminate our parental rights.

Rights of Children
Did you know that your children can sue you? There are procedures they must follow in order to do so.

Tried As an Adult
If a child commits a crime, there's Juvenile Court. It was put in place for young criminals. However, in some states, a child can be tried as an adult at the age of thirteen! Also in some states parents can be held responsible for damages caused by their child/teenagers.

Many of these laws are new to me. I didn't know them before. I think that all parents need to educate themselves on laws that involve children. Would you like to know the laws on kids? Would your family benefit from learning about these laws? How would you feel if you had these laws available to you in a desperate time of need? These laws are available to you! My recommendation for further reading is the Family Legal Guide it is filled with everything you need to know as a parent.

Thanks for reading!

I'm Not A Baby!

2011-03-04T10:34:00.024-05:00

Mom I'm Not a Baby!

"You treat me like I'm a baby!" "You never let me go anywhere or do anything."

If you're a parent with preteens or teenagers, you've probably heard these statements before. I fit into this category. Letting go of our kids is very hard. Being a parent and raising teenagers is a very challenging yet rewarding job. Probably one of the most challenging and important jobs you've ever had. The difference is, this is a job you can't quit. You may feel like it from time to time.

They're Not Babies Anymore

When kids are small, they accept anything. They don't talk back. They're very cooperative. Not so when they become teens. It's as if they're completely different. You have to get to know them all over. They're not babies anymore. I find this to be tough at times. I want to give my kids more freedom. I just get scared that something is going to happen to them. I won't even let my kids walk over a friend's house alone. Too many predators lurking around these days.

If they want to go over a friend's house, I'll take them. It's much safer. We all are happy with doing it this way. They understand the danger of walking alone. I always tell them, "Walking in a group is so much safer." Since they can't walk with a group, I prefer to take them where they need to go. Although they have a measure of freedom (they can visit friends), they don't have total freedom. Also, there's always another adult present if I'm not.

Plan Activities for Your Teen

I think it's important to give our teens more freedom. Especially if we notice that they're responsible in other areas. It's best to start small. I let my son go play ball with some of his older Friends. They're twice his age. I trust them. They've proven to be very responsible. That's important. Know who your teen is with. Do you trust them? If you don't, explain this to your teen. Be careful with your choice of words. It's okay to deny them from hanging out with a dangerous or bad group of friends. If you do this, have something else planned for them.

I personally think it's best to have plans ahead of time for teens. What about having some of his/her friends over to the house, with you close by? This way, you'll get to know their friends better. They may even find out some things about their friends they didn't even know (good or bad). It's not going to hurt a group of teens, to have at least one mature and responsible adult present. Maybe two, so they can interact with each other. If you're a teen, try to cooperate with your parents more fully. Realizing they're responsible for your care. It's only natural for them to want to protect you. They love you!

Thanks for reading!

If you liked this article, please say so. If you'd like to leave a comment for others to read, please do so.

God Found Me

2011-03-01T16:21:00.028-05:00

God Took Me by the Hand

I want you to tell me. What do these people have in common?

Norma Jean Baker (aka Marilyn Monroe)

Raymond Neil Combs Jr.

Jean Seberg

Michael Blosil

If you said they all committed suicide, you’re right. These people took their own lives. For whatever reason, they found it hard to cope and decided to end it all by killing themselves.

Suicide takes many lives away from us yearly. It’s been estimated that as many as a million people kill themselves each year. This is definitely something we need to take notice of.

When I was a teenager, I wanted to kill myself. I was very disappointed with my life (at that time). I had done some things that I was ashamed of. I had hurt a lot of people (especially my family). I didn’t think I would be forgiven. Nor did I think anyone loved me. I was struggling in school with my grades. I had a few friends. I never had popular friends. I felt like I didn't fit in with that group. I felt alone. My relationship with my mom was a painful one. I felt like she always picked on me. I felt like she didn’t love me. I was not very close to my mom (we’re much closer now). My dad was hardly ever home. Eventually, my parents divorced. I started drinking and taking drugs (downers). By the way, I got real skinny during this time. I was taking drugs more than I was eating.

One particular night, I wanted to end it all. I had it all planned. I was going to drink a 2 liter of beer (which I did). Then, I was going to drive my car off a bridge. I didn’t know where or how. I just knew I wanted to do that. However, for some reason, I ended up over my boyfriend’s house. He became aware of my situation. He would not let me be alone. He drove me around on his motorcycle until I was sober. I don’t know whatever became of him. But, I’m very thankful that he was there during my time of need. Anyway, I ended up sobering up. Needless to say, I didn’t kill myself.

God Found Me

I learned that God cares for me. He cares for each and every one of us. He found me. He strengthened me. He’s the reason I’m still here to tell you my story. I learned that he gave me life as a gift. He wants me to take care of the gift of life. He doesn’t want me to harm my body in any way. I appreciate that. I respect his views. My life doesn’t belong to me. It’s like someone giving you a gift. You wouldn’t throw it away would you? So why should we throw away the gift of life that God has given us?

So before you even begin to think about taking your own life, talk to someone. Try your best to let them know how you're feeling. Don't isolate yourself. Seek the company of family and friends. Get on the phone and call someone (you can contact me). You may just need to vent your feelings to a listening ear. I'll help you through this. I've been where you are.

A Reminder for Parents and Friends
Please listen to any and all talk of suicide. Take it serious. You may have to just be a listening ear. Sometimes that's all that is needed. If you sense something, talk to the individual. Don't just assume it's nothing. Try to get inside the person's head. We want to help others, not judge them.

Thanks for reading!

Be The Best Teen Mom!

2011-03-01T16:19:00.018-05:00

Babies Need Lots Of Love

Sometimes no matter how hard we try not to, we make mistakes. Unfortunately, for many teenagers, getting pregnant and having a child out of wedlock is one of them. But why dwell on that? When that the little one arrives, he/she is going to need your undivided attention. Once home from the hospital, you'll be lost as to what to do. I sure was. I wasn't even in my teens (with my first child).

When you come home from the hospital, you'll be surprised to find out that you don't get an instruction manual; on how to raise a child. It's hands on training....Don't worry, most of it comes naturally. Just follow your motherly instincts.

Give that child lots of love and attention. It is not just you anymore. You are now responsible for another person that depends on you. Any decisions that you make from this point on, will affect your child (make them wisely). If you don't know how to do something, seek the help of other experienced moms (especially your mother). If you don't understand something, research it (reliable resource). Please make your baby your priority. Be the best teenage Mom you can be!

Thanks for reading!

I Overcame Teenage Drinking

2011-03-01T16:17:00.025-05:00

When I was a teenager still in school, I was introduced to alcohol. I had over heard a group of girls talking about an alcoholic beverage (during class). I got curious and wanted to know more. One of the girls in the group told me she had an older friend that could get me some alcohol (the beverage they were speaking of). She and the rest of the group were talking about how good it was. I wanted to try it.

Drunk in School
So the next day in school, my friend (classmate) brought a bottle of it with her. I just had to pay her for it. She slipped it to me sometime in the morning. I put it in my book bag. (I have to wreck my brain here a bit. It's been years since I've been in school). I didn't drink it until the next day (before school). No one told me what it would do to me. I must have been walking around drunk for most of my morning classes. Of course at that time, I thought I was feeling pretty good!

The alcohol caused me to act in ways I normally would not have. If there was someone I wanted to tell off, I did it. If I liked a guy, he knew it (that day). This went on for weeks. I was hooked on alcohol from day one. I liked the way it made me feel.

Slipping Grades
Then, I started not caring about my grades (they were slipping). I started missing days at school. I got a boyfriend and started drinking around guys. "That was a big mistake." I actually got drunk with my boyfriend and got taken advantage of by his best friend (fondling). I got so drunk that I didn't know where I was or what I was doing. I remember my boyfriend having to carry me into a McDonald's bathroom. Now I never sit on a toilet in a public restroom without first putting tissue over it. Well, on this occasion my boyfriend sat me on the toilet...Yuck! I must have puked several times too......Not very becoming of a young lady is it?

I never once thought of drinking as fun, I always considered it a way for me to escape reality. To be something I didn't have the courage to be in reality.

I'm not proud of any of these past events. I only hope my story will prevent other young girls from making these same mistakes. Alcohol messes with the mind. It takes your senses away from you. You can't think logical when you need too.

Drinking is not something to take lightly. How many lives have been lost because of a drunk driver? How many women have been raped, because they were too drunk to realize what was going on? Don't let alcohol consume you. Take control.

7 Tips For Parents (raising teenagers)

Talk to your teens
Take an interest in him or her
Keep the doors of communication open
Be involved with what they're doing
Show them that you love them
Don't give up on your teens (keep trying)
Set the example in not over drinking

7 Tips For Teens (living with parents)

Talk to your parents about your feelings
Don't give up on your parents (they need love and understanding too)
Choose your friends wisely
Learn about a substance before you put it in your body
Don't drink just because everyone else is drinking (if you do, drink in moderation)
Hang with friends that are going to help you, not hurt you
Know your limit

There's a saying, "We become like those we hang around." Do you want to become like the friends you hang around?

Thanks for reading!

Beauty In The Eyes Of A Teenager

2011-03-01T15:50:00.035-05:00

Boy! I'm so glad that I'm past the teenage years. I don't want to go back to them. Sure, I'd like to be 25 again. But oh well! It's not gonna happen anytime soon. I feel myself slowly climbing that mountain. But that's okay, because I got more wisdom now..... At least I like to think so! I don't think I look too bad for my age.

She Looks Better Than Me
When I was a young teenager, I was more concerned about my looks. I must have compared myself to every beautiful friend I had at the time....That's what us girls do. The media doesn't help. We're constantly looking at beautiful women on the screen and in magazines. There's so much competition to look better than the next girl. Remember this, there's always going to be someone that looks better.

Although your outer appearance is important, it shouldn't consume you. In the long run, most mature people look past your outer beauty. They look at your inner personality (inner beauty). Unfortunately, many teenage girls didn't learn this at an early age. They become ugly on the inside, while beautiful on the outside. What happens is, people start picking up on their conceited attitude. It can cause them to back away.

Inner Beauty
What you need to know is, working on a personality that people will like and be drawn to, is more important than looking good on the outside. What is your personality like? Do people seek you out or avoid you? Sometimes you'll find that the ones that have the most friends are the ones that aren't the most attractive. That's because they work more on the inner person. They already know that they don't have their looks going for them. The beautiful ones tend to think that their beauty will get them anything. All they have to do is put on the charm. Let their beauty do the rest. "Get Real!" Most mature people see past the beauty.

Thanks for reading! I'd love to read your comment!

I Can't Stop Thinking About The Opposite Sex

2011-02-26T08:41:00.021-05:00

Everywhere you look in the entertainment world, it glorifies premarital sex. It makes it seem as though there's nothing wrong with it. Teenagers end up having babies, catching a disease, or getting married too soon. The entertainment world doesn't mention the pain or the head aches that come from all of these issues. These issues are not glamorous.

Erase the Thought Quickly

As I was searching for some of the most common teen sites, I noticed that the Internet is flooded with the wrong stuff for our teens. I saw way too many sex related sites. It is pathetic what some people will search for when it comes to teens. I did a search and it disgusted me to see some of the terms that were used.

When I run into something like that, I quickly turn away from it. I don't want that garbage dwelling in my mind. I want to view information that's going to help me to be a better person. If I don't get away from it quickly, it'll stay in my mind. This is what I encourage my kids and other teens to do, get away from it quickly! These immoral images tend to show up when we least expect them. If you're on a site, get off of it. If you're watching something on television, turn the station. If a friend talks trash, change the subject.

When I was young, I didn't see the value in being clean and wholesome. If I could go back and change my past, I would. I'm proud to say that I now value my clean thoughts and body.

My Love of Music Videos

Do you like music videos? What teen doesn't? I use to love them when I was a teen! I liked some pretty steamy ones too...That was not good. That's when all my troubles began. I ended up getting involved with guys too soon. I went from boys, to drugs and alcohol, to pregnancy (abortion), to finally being kicked out by my Mom. I wasn't even 20 years old.

Believe me, it's no fun when you're on your own at an early age. You need the time you have when you're home, to learn to care for yourself, manage your finances, and prepare for a family of your own (someday). If you were to leave home now, can you provide for yourself? Can you take care of a family, should you mistakenly start one?

The entertainment that I was viewing had a big influence on me. I was constantly thinking about the opposite sex. If you don't take anything else away from this article, please take this one point away, learn from the mistakes of others (especially other teens).

Five Ways to Keep From Constantly Thinking about the Opposite Sex:

Avoid entertainment that excites you sexually.
Before watching a video or movie, ask yourself, "Is this going to help me remain morally clean?"
Before going to a movie, get a review. Search online to find out more about the movie. (You can do this with music too). Find out if the movie has some immoral scenes in it. Many times, the title speaks for itself.
Avoid social networks and friends that promote immorality. Clean and safe sites will not allow it.
Pick your friends more wisely. A friend that is true, clean, and respectful towards you (and self), will not promote or entertain immorality.

Find out about movies before you view them

What if you do have friends that are immoral? How can you break away from them? I'll answer this question for you in a future article.

If you enjoyed my article, please pass it on.

Thanks for reading!

Should I let My Teenager Date?

2011-02-23T14:29:00.024-05:00

Dating Can Be Lots Of Fun When Done The Right Way

Sooner or later our teens are going to be attracted to the opposite sex. One bit of advice, "Never stop talking."

My son must have been around 7 years old when he noticed the beauty of women. There was this commercial with Beyonce' in it. After the commercial went off, he turned and looked at me. He said, "She's kind of pretty isn't she?" My mouth dropped. I've never encouraged talk like that with him or anything. On another occasion, he said, "Girls are hot!" I said, "What?" I couldn't believe it! He was still 6 or 7 years old.

This is cute when they're small children. But what happens when two very young teens ages 14 and 15 start liking each other; and dating? To some it may still be cute. Is it really? What happens if the young lady gets pregnant? What if the young man leaves her (which happens most of the time)? She's left to care for the baby on her own. Because of this, many parents take on another child long after they've raised their own.

Should I Let My Teen Date?

Some parents approve of their teens dating as early as 13. This is their right. However, could they be setting them up for failure? Many problems can be avoided if we deny our teens the privilege of dating at an early age. My kids already know that there will be no dating allowed, while they're under our parental guidance (not before the age of 18). At the legal age, they're responsible for any and all decisions they make.

This is easier said than done. It's natural for teens to want to be around the opposite sex and be attracted to them. One thing we must remember is, the sexual urges are very strong for teens. They don't even fully understand what's happening to them. They need someone to guide them through these changes. They need someone to talk to them about the delicate subject of sex. That's where parents come in. Do not be afraid to talk about sex with your teens. They're going to hear about it anyway. Why not let them get the truth from you?

I find that some of the best times to talk to my kids are when we go for long drives, walks, or just sit up at night talking. My kids are more relaxed and willing to talk to me.

If you choose to let your teen date, here are four wholesome activities he/she can do with the opposite sex:

Visit the museum (public place)
Enjoy a meal together with a group of friends
Go skating
Have a gathering with a group of people including an older person (chaperon)

What are some other wholesome things to do with the opposite sex?

Why You Should Finish School

2011-02-14T17:46:00.060-05:00

School Prepares You for The Future

During my teen years, I hated school!

Many days I just wanted to stay home. I felt like I didn't fit in. I had a few friends. I hung with the not so popular group.

Have you noticed that I have a gap in my teeth? Well, I do. I use to get teased about this; by one particular guy in school (high school). Do you remember the commercial song for Gap? He would sing it. "Fall into the Gap!" He made me feel very insecure with my looks. Really, he had no room to talk about anyone. He was tall and slinky. Frankly, he was very unattractive..... I'd just laugh it off. Sometimes I'd pretend not to hear him.

I made poor grades in high school. This was mostly because I skipped school a lot. Also, the alcohol and drugs played a part in my bad grades. I was too high to focus on getting good grades.

What I Learned From Staying In School

My parents made us prepare for school the day before. We had to get our school clothes out (iron them). We had to make sure we had our homework and school books ready. Then on the morning of school, we had to get up, get dressed, eat breakfast (sometimes fix it), and walk 30 minutes away. Sometimes we caught the bus. Most times I walked. I avoided the bus whenever I could. There were too many problems on the bus (fighting, teasing). All of this turned out to be valuable training for me. I didn't think so at the time. This training prepared me for the routines of life (when I left home), and the routines of a job.

I'm glad I got my diploma. I can't even count the number of times I've had to answer yes to the diploma question on a job application. Many times I had to present a copy of it. I've landed some good jobs over the years. I finished high school and got my diploma. I was very proud of myself! My hard work had paid off. All the mornings I had to get up early to walk or catch a bus to school. I learned how to be independent and stick to a schedule (routine). My parents didn't believe in taking five kids to school. Now I can say, "I'm glad they didn't do everything for me."

Staying in school was very hard. Life after graduation was even harder. If I had not received my high school diploma, think how much harder things would have been for me.....I tell all young people, Stay in school. Get your diploma. Make yourself and your parents proud!

You will regret it if you don't.

Thanks for reading! If you liked my article, please say so. You can also leave a comment if you like. I love reading other people's comments!

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What's So Dangerous About Premarital Sex?

2011-02-12T15:45:00.037-05:00

If you want to keep your morals, avoid being in isolated places with your date.

Having premarital sex can have very serious consequences. There are so many sexually transmitted diseases out here. Let's take a closer look at a few of them.

HIV- Human Immunodeficiency Virus (HIV), causes the immune system to fail which leads to life threatening infections. It can be contacted through the following: Sex, needles, breast milk, blood transfusions, and blood products.

Herpes - A contagious viral infection. Usually painful. It can be on the mouth or genitals. This disease is always contagious. You don't have to have a break out to be contagious.

Gonorrhea - Sexually transmitted, can cause fertility, can spread through the blood and joints, causes inflammation and swelling, and can affect the heart valves.

I just covered a few STD'S. There are many more. Why should you get a disease when you don't have to? All of the diseases here can be prevented. Simply by abstaining from having premarital sex. I'm talking about abstaining before you even get married. Completely avoiding premarital sex.

It sounds out dated. You're probably thinking, "Everyone does it." You many think you'd be the laughing stalk (if anyone found out). This part of your life should remain private. It is no body's business what you do or don't do. Keep it to yourself. Tell your friends it's private. You don't have to share it with them. My virginity was taken away at an early age. If I could do it all over, I would have stayed a virgin until I married. I would have been proud of it too! It's something that is very rare today.

How many of you will still be in a relationship years from now (after premarital sex) with the same guy or girl? I can tell you from experience, I didn't marry any of those guys. Actually, I really grew to dislike one or two of those guys. They cared nothing about me. I found this out the hard way. Not only that, most of them didn't even respect my mother or her home. How foolish of me even think that those guys cared about me. I was so wrapped up in what I was doing and wanting to be loved. I over looked a lot of things. It doesn't have to be the same with you.

My suggestion to all teenagers is, "Occupy yourself with other activities besides the opposite sex." Travel, learn a skill, take up a new hobby, educate yourself now on what to look for in a good mate, finish school, concentrate on helping your parents, learn how to be a good husband or wife (before you get married), have fun getting to know lots of people...etc. There's so much you can be doing now. You'll have plenty of time to include a relationship. The key is not to rush into one before you're ready (a baby could be the result).

What are your thoughts? Is it good advice for teenagers to abstain from sex?

Thanks for reading!