When our children were younger, we helped them to learn from their mistakes. Perhaps they spilled milk on the table. We would have them clean it up. If they hit someone, we would make them apologize. Does this guidance stop when they become teenagers? No! We should continue helping them in this way even into young adulthood.
So many parents try to fix everything for their kids. Instead of helping them, it hinders them.
We Don't Have To Bail Our Kids Out
As hard as it may be, we as parents must allow our teens to work out their own problems. For instance, if your teen gets a ticket for speeding, make him pay for the ticket. If you pay for the ticket, he will not take the consequences of his actions seriously. Therefore, he would only repeat the act. After paying enough money for speeding tickets, he'll slow down!
If your teen is making money, it’s important to allow him to use that money for the things he wants (not needs). If we buy everything for them, they tend to think things should be given to them. They don’t work as hard, or value the money they make (they waste it).
If your teen decides to break his curfew, render some type of appropriate discipline. My Mom wouldn't allow me to go out on my next date if I broke my curfew. Of course some teens never get it. Don’t give up! You can also take the extended time from him, which means he’d have to come home earlier. If he chooses to keep breaking his curfew, you keep administering the discipline. You may have to get tougher with privileges (take a few away). Eventually, he’ll know that you mean business!
Parents Are Not Best Friends
The relationship parents have with their teens is not to be mistaken for best friends. We’re to guide and assist our children to become mature, responsible, decent, loving, and civil adults in our society. They may not appreciate it now, but they will later. We’ve all been through it with our parents. I know I appreciate my parents more so now than I ever did.
Basically, we must allow our teens to learn from their behavior and the decisions they make. It is not necessary to come to their rescue all the time.This prevents parents from hindering their teen's progress. My parents sure didn't come to my rescue all the time (if at all). I'm proud to say, "I'm now a responsible adult."
Thanks for reading! Have a wonderful day!
Good article Kim! We must step back and allow our teens to grow so they will learn and know. Parenting is knowing when to get in and get out. I am now following you on twitter. #followback.
ReplyDeleteYep. Biting my lip and stepping back and watching as she learns by her mistakes are the new learning for me with my 18 yr old. She's not too old to help me start the happy honkers blog though. For teens who need to meditate but are turned off by the word.
ReplyDeleteI totally agree. My kids have bought thier name-brand stuff since they started wotking at 15. My son now explains to me how buying a cheaper brand doesn't necessarily mean not as good.LOL
ReplyDeleteI tried to 'teach' him that for quite a while. He was very surprised at how much his car insurance went up after a fender bender. Welcome to the real world kid-o.
Thanks for your comment. lol
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