Thursday, March 24, 2011

Should I Kick My Troubled Teen Out?

Sometimes Parents Give Up Too Soon

As a Mom, I don't think it's wise to kick a teen out of the house. I think it's wiser to work through any problems you may have. Kicking a teen out too soon can cause hardship for him. Before you kick your teen out, ask yourself some questions. How will he take care of himself? Where will he live? Does he have any money saved?

Prepare Your Teen
I was put out at an early age. I wasn't prepared for taking care of myself financially. Because of this, I had many financial problems. I also found it hard to deal with a lot of problems that came my way. Basically, I was too young. I got put out at around 18 years of age. I was fresh out of school.

I think if I would have stayed home longer, I would not have had too many financial woes. I would have learned how to be more responsible (if given the opportunity). Sometimes parents want to throw in the towel as soon as they have a run in with their teens. They feel like they're not getting anywhere. They may even believe that kicking them out is the best answer. I strongly disagree with this thought. 

Being kicked out myself, I can say that kicking a teen out is not the best solution. They're being kicked out at a very vulnerable time. This is when they need their parents the most. Kicking them out will only make them feel abandoned. It will force them to fend for themselves (job or no job).

When I got kicked out, I had a Part time job, no car, no money saved, and no apartment. This was the wrong way to start on my own. While I do not agree with kicking a teen out, I must say that I played a part in my Mom's decision. Maybe if I would have listened to my Mom, I would not be telling you about this experience.

Work through Your Problems
While home, teens learn how to build relationships and get along with others. If they're always running from their problems (running away from home) or we put them out, we're not teaching them how to deal with their problems. It's important to let our teens know come what may, we're going to stick by them. This is what I needed most when I was a teen. So parents stick it out through good and bad. Teens cooperate with your parents and think about the benefits that come from staying home longer. As I always say, "Learn from the mistakes of others."

This is not to say that if a teen is causing danger to a family, he/she should not be put out (if the behavior continues). Sometimes, parents are left with no choice but to put a teen out.

What are your thoughts?

Kim Harris

1 comment:

  1. True. Like the relationship between husband and wife, a parent has to stand by and guide the teen as often as possible. There are exceptions, of course, but you need to be sure. If you are reaching that point, try to set an ultimatum to set a path to try and repair the situation.
    -Carolin Newmeyer


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