Sunday, March 6, 2011

Better Communication With Your Teen - 4 Strategies

Show Empathy


Just the other day, I made the mistake of saying something to my teen that hurt his feelings very much. The reason I said it, was because he made me upset by his actions. I wanted him to stop. He kept irritating me. I made a statement to him, that hurt him deep down. He went into his room and closed his door. I told him to stay in there and think about what he had done.

Could You Be Wrong?
As he was sitting in his room pondering over his actions (I hope), I was sitting at my computer pondering over what I had said to him. After thinking about it, I came to realize that I was in the wrong for saying what I said. I was right about wanting him to stop. I was also right about him not displaying the proper attitude towards me at the time. "I was wrong for saying what I said."

Apologize
I got up and went into his room. The first thing I did was apologize. I then explained to him why I said what I said. I also let him know that his attitude was out of line. I invited him to come back and join the family. Afterwards, I left his room. He was behind me! :)

Reassure Your Teen Of Your Love
He felt much better after my apology. I think he even realized where he was wrong. The important thing is, I didn't just leave him on his own to deal with his hurt feelings. I remember what I needed most when I upset my Mother. I needed her reassurance. I wanted to know that she still loved me, even though I had made a mistake. I reassured my Son that I still loved him. I'm not the best at parenting or anything. I just try as best I can to apply all the suggestions and advice I receive from my religious publications (which I share with you). Alone with my own common sense, and lots of love! So far it's working!

Have Better Communication With Your Teenager - 4 Strategies
  1. Ask questions. Find out what's really bothering him (or her).
  2. Listen to him. He may be pouring his heart out to you. Even if you don't like what he's saying to you, try as best as you can not to interrupt or attack him.
  3. Plan times together that allow for communication. Usually meal times are a good time for families to get together for some fun, talk, and good food! Communication will be stifled if you allow television, computer, or other activities (during the meal).
  4. Apologize if you're in the wrong. Even if you don't think you're in the wrong, it helps to have an apologetic attitude. Find something that you could have done better.
If you need advice for a specific question, please email me privately. I'll send you information that touches on your specific question.

Thanks for reading!

All comments are welcomed here.

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